Perilous Deep Love
# I love having these long, deep, meaningful conversations.. tonight out at dinner it was about "why are so many people breaking up, is there something in the water?"...
Great observation, and how can we not notice the turmoil in relationships around us?
It is as if people are waking up from a sleep or a dream or even life... and realizing they want "connection".... they have bypassed "give me security" because they can give that to themselves; they have bypassed "a good time" because there is so much available to be entertained.... and they have even bypassed "I need to feel important" enough for your attention because with social media, and social circles, they can give themselves a good buzz... Perilous Deep Love
So really people are looking for "connection"... to "feel" that there is something deeper and more meaningful, something that is beyond romance and dating, or day to day working and striving.. most common feedback i hear from my clients are "So why do I need them, or why do they need me if we don't have that connection anymore? What is the point?"
Question is. Do we know what a connection is? Is it the first level of attraction between 2 people? Is it the love at first sight? Is it "just a feeling"? What happens when the best face, and the best suit, and the best shoes have faded and you start to see the not so nice bits in your partner? Does the attraction grow or lessen?
IS attraction the connection? If it is then it is temporary. When you are in a relationship and you grow closer through the dark times, instead of push each other away, it "develops" a connection, like a silent agreement of togetherness. If you are not growing towards each other in acceptance, team work, with compassion and understanding at the core, chances are your connection is "buffering".
Most crucial to you being able to truly connect with another, is that you first connect with yourself deeply, this my dear hearts is the foundation of longevity in relationships. When you achieve this, it teaches people the truth about you, and which boundaries not to cross, you also become clear on who you are, instead of what you "think" you need to sell yourself as in order to be accepted.
Today, without a solid education, graduation or qualification one cannot get a sustaining income.... it is a pity this is not the criteria for relationships. when of a certain age schools could have relationship education subjects, teaching all facets of a functional relationship... the theory alone can create a good enough framework to ensure people had the basics to get started.
Instead, from a fairy tale fantasy, and limiting beliefs people connect, sometimes matching with each others wounds and hurts, and from there dependency and neediness rule their worth, naturally to be "connected" to someone that relates to your pain, feels like heaven.
There are ways to resolve, and re-develop a relationship, it involves being willing to attend school, have courage to face your own inner world, and how to "connect"... and even if you choose to end a relationship, before you leap into another, take time out to recover, and learn about who you are, because if you don't ~ you will keep attracting the same or similar experience with another person.
Love is not limited to the soft, fluffy, colourful explosions of joy, it includes the thorny, rough, protruding pain of self discovery too. That self discovery takes place when your relationship starts testing your resolve and forces you to ask bigger questions and review your choices.
In the end there in no relationship that does not serve you, if it comes to you, it is FOR you.
Blessing all the hearts that are hurting and confused, remember anything that squeezes the heart is reminding you that you are ALIVE and that you ARE love itself... you just need to realize it for yourself. Learn to accept, forgive and love yourself. People may leave, but you will always be with yourself.
You are Love itself.